Of course I hadn't told Andrea about my secret shenanigans, I was far too ashamed to tell her everything.

After Uncle Erich had disappeared, I felt outcast, felt like a rotten, ungrateful child, and felt shunned by the others like a leper. I curled up in my bed, cuddled up to myself, and held on shakily. If no one loved me anymore, at least I loved myself. I took my old bear, squeezed him very sweetly and enclosed his body with my thighs, feeling the scratchy fur. Don't scratch like that, little bear, I said to him, protecting my split with one hand from his scratching. As always, the palm of my hand gave me a comforting, warm feeling. I rubbed that wet slit a bit until I fell asleep. From now on, I loved to stroke myself in the evening until I fell asleep.

Initially, I still went over to mother's bedroom every morning, but that changed, because mother only wanted to let me come over on Sunday mornings, you're already a big girl! So I lay in my bed, quietly playing my games and listening for Mother's sounds through the thin wall. Yes, sometimes I heard her groaning or snorting and instinctively wanted to go to her, but I knew she didn't want me to and I stayed lying there lonely. So I fumbled with my hand at my cleft and stroked it, tenderly and gently, until I almost had to wet the bed. Then I stopped for a few moments until the pee feeling subsided, then I stroked myself again.

Andrea had laughed at me when I told her our version of Father's long travels. "Nonsense," she said with an expert's eye, "your Old man is eloped!" Patiently she explained to me that father had run away, that is, he had gone away and would not come back. I argued with her, but strangely enough she was right. Once, when we were returning from the Kabunke spying point to our attic hiding place, she said that Sepp was also going to my mother, but I just cried and didn't believe it. Although it was true.

Once, in the afternoon, I heard Sepp creeping quietly and carefully into mother's bedroom. Heart pounding, I lay down in my bed and covered myself, pulling the covers over my head, not wanting to hear anything. But I heard her, heard his gasping, and later, when Sepp had gone away again, I heard her gasping and moaning once more. I remember that the first time I felt a violent stab in my heart, that I felt mother betraying me, betraying father. And Sepp, he was dumb and stupid, but he betrayed me too, somehow. I hated them, hated them both, because they betrayed me. Later, I got used to his rare visits and lay under the covers, ashamed, listening to the bed groaning under his pounding and holding my hand protectively over my little slit until it was over. When he had gone and mother was still groaning and sighing, I also rubbed myself a little and wanted to love her very, very much, because she was my mother. Earlier I had heard nothing from her bedroom, now I heard Sepp or her; I didn't know whether I just hadn't noticed or whether something had actually changed in my mother's behavior.

Every Sunday morning I would slip on my long nightgown and sneak into her bedroom, as I used to do in childhood days, lie down next to her under the warm blanket and snuggle up close to her. She usually slept lightly and smiled sweetly when I came in, then we fell asleep. No, I would never betray her, I felt that and told Andrea so; I would never watch when Sepp was with her. Andrea snorted that I was a bitch, a very stupid bitch, but she left me alone.

But now everything had changed. Andrea had shown me everything, had turned my gentle, tentative stroking games after bedtime into vigorous, purposeful masturbation. I knew now that the pee‐pee feeling was just the beginning of the end, so I continued carefully until I felt the strange urgent excitement that almost made me forget everything else. I pressed my lips together and held my breath, because beyond the paper‐thin board wall, my mother was asleep; she wasn't supposed to hear, wasn't supposed to know what her little girl was doing. Held my breath at that, couldn't stand it any longer, and rubbed very quickly until I found fierce release, gasping softly when I was in danger of suffocating, but I knew that this gasp betrayed me, because I knew that telltale sound of the pressed exhalation that I sometimes heard through the wall. I usually fell asleep immediately afterward.

The visits from Sepp became rarer, not only because he had enough to do with the Kabunke, but also because my mother had taken a part‐time job in the city and only came home late in the evening. So I spent most of my time with Andrea in my room, and we rarely went up to the attic anymore. Eavesdropping on the Kabunke was getting stale, we were looking for something new. I had said to Andrea at some point that I wanted to see a cock, exactly how it was, because we had not seen anything specific when we watched Sepp at the Kabunke.

One day she brought Karli, her stepbrother, with whom she had allegedly already fucked. I was embarrassed, although the Karli was actually quite simple‐minded. But I was embarrassed because Andrea had quietly crept into my room, dragged Karli by the hand behind her, and had immediately sat down on my bed. Karli was standing next to the bed, looking expectantly at her, because she took off her dress and panties and threw them carelessly next to the bed. Then she said to me that I had to do the same. After a moment's hesitation, I saw from her greedy and stern eyes that no excuses would help, so I stripped naked with a flushed face and hid behind Andrea.

"I'll show you how it's done," Andrea said and began to unbutton Karli's pants door. Karli gasped and reached forward with his hand, feeling Andrea's abdomen and trying to insert a finger into her cunt. Andrea had meanwhile opened his pants and slowly pulled out Karli's cock. I half crouched behind her and watched fascinated.

After a long fumbling, Karli had finally stuck a finger into Andrea's cunt and grinned. She held the tail with one hand and whispered over her shoulder to me:

"Look how it grows now!" and indeed, the tail began to swell, became long and thick. Andrea pulled briefly on the shaft and in front, from the tip, came out the bright red shiny glans. I looked at it closely, I had already seen that ‐ ah, at Uncle Erich! Only Karlis tail was at least twice as big as that of Uncle Erich.

After Andrea had turned the cock back and forth and pushed the skin back and forth a few times, she whispered, "Now I'm going to jerk him off!" which Karli acknowledged with a pleasant grunt. Andrea now slid her hand quickly back and forth on the shaft, Karli rolled his eyes and all at once it jerkily spurted from his glans. Some splashes hit Andrea's hand, the rest dripped onto the floor. Andrea brushed the splashes away with her hand as best she could.

"Well?" she asked, looking me in the eye. I nodded and looked at Karli's cock hanging down like a tired sausage. Andrea reached for his cock again after some time and said that Karli could do it more often, several times in a row. Karli nodded smugly and grunted to Andrea, "Can I?" then reached up to my thigh, not caring that I flinched, and curiously palmed my slit, fingering my vagina and clit. "Ooch, it's still way too small!" he said disappointedly, and asked Andrea, "Can I do it now?" With a sigh, she leaned against me and nodded surrendered. "But be careful!" she admonished, opening her thighs. Karli took his cock in his hand and rubbed a bit. Sure enough, he got stiff again and terribly big. Now he steered it and thrust with it quickly and ruthlessly into Andrea's cunt.

She expelled her breath violently and I felt her tense against my shoulder. I looked down over Andrea's shoulder along her body and saw the miracle of fucking: Karli's cock disappeared deep into her cunt, only to be pulled out again immediately, wet and shiny. Wet and thick it came out, Andrea's cunt holding it like a frog's mouth. Andrea gasped harder and clutched his cock so tightly with her labia that Karli had to snort violently. This went on for a while, but when he began to ram wildly in and out, she straightened up and pushed him off her fearfully because his semen was already spurting out.

Karli woke up as if from a deep dream and looked at her like a stupid sheep standing there with his cock wet and dangling down. Andrea merely shook her head and muttered angrily that he shouldn't squirt in, he nodded surrendered and sighed, then he continued to jerk off hastily while standing up, threw his head back and continued to rub obsessively, even though only isolated drops squirted out of his glans; I suddenly understood exactly what Uncle Erich had done back then. Karli continued to rub and rub with a distorted face until nothing more came. Then he stowed his wet cock in his pants without a word and went out without looking at us again.

Andrea looked at me triumphantly. "Well, you didn't think I'd fuck him, did you?" she asked challengingly, nodding as if in her own confirmation. "He always wants to ram me hard and cum inside, but I don't want to get pregnant!" said Andrea, and followed up with, "but it always makes me terribly horny when he fucks me!" then she leaned back and masturbated really fast with her finger. I didn't understand about getting pregnant, because Karli had squirted inside, but we didn't talk about it anymore. Only much later did she make a remark that you have to have your period to get pregnant ‐ but that's not the case with you, she continued from above. This was the first time Andrea let me watch her fuck Karli, but now I had to believe her willy‐nilly.

From now on, when I lay in bed in the evening and dreamily played with my clit, I always saw Karli's cock squirting or humping in front of me, felt pleasant warmth and longingly pulling excitement, which did not leave me until the climax.